On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
