if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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