i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
