he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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