and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
