I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
