So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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