What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
