i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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