hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
