haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
