Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
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