You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
