i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
