I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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