So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
