They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
