help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
