2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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