we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
