At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
