If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
