Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
