He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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