Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
