There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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