i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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