K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
