bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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