If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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