I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
