i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
