found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
