So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
