she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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