just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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