I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
