I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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