thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
