So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
