from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
