I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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