I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Your cock deserves a montage
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
