A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
