He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
