i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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