You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
