i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
