My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
