I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
