you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
