areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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